Of this tangled mess of strands that I have made up of my life, let Me pick the path that pleases You.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Good Bye Blogger.

I'm changing blogs. Please Link my new blog.

Here

Just Because
9:09 PM

Friday, July 31, 2009

Something is wrong with my blog. Its not giving me options to change the color. Stupid Blogger, I want to change my blog. And maybe I will. Soon.

Yesterday something happened to one of my superiors in camp. His father passed away at about 11pm last night. The next day people were talking about it in hushed whispers and everyone was sympathetic. What I saw was people readily coming forth to the other superiors, asking who to pass the condolence money to. It made me think that if you are a good person, people will notice, people will respect you and admire you. There's really no plus point in being a mean person. Usually I see condolence money in the form of fives and twos, but this time it came in forms of tens and twenties, no less. Everybody liked him and nobody was unwilling to part with their money to help him, definitely a sight to see. It makes me wonder will people do the same for me when I need help? I think I'm quite a nice person, I think. lol.

I'm going terribly broke this month, but all is worth it if I'm spending on stuff I absolutely love. I just bought 2 more body butters, bringing the grand total to 13. Wow...I'm a total addict. Let's see...I have Satsuma, Mango, Lemon&Honey, Pomegranate, Passion Fruit, Strawberry, Raspberry, Plum, Wild Cherry, Papaya, Cocoa, Grapefruit and Peach. Phew...that's a lot.

Just Because
10:47 PM

Sunday, July 12, 2009

YAY I got Peggy Hsu's latest album. I just love her style, I will be writing another accordion based song since I realized I do in fact have an instrument that sounds like an accordion lol.

I tried the Erhu at Jingyi's house and I tried to play ShanGe with it, OMG ORGASMIC SOUNDS. My ears came like a thousand times. Someone get me an Erhu NOW. I believe an Erhu is more affordable than a cello? Not sure...enlighten me music bbs.

Recently more and more people are asking me why am I still single? I told them a couple of things; I'm not really out there, as in knowing more people and sometimes I just want to avoid the sound of disappoint, being a poor man's choice. It would be nice though, it would.

I don't want to be broke, but I want to have fun too. How? Its so ironic.

Last message, since I won't be seeing you in a while. To Mr. CK, I hope your dearest is well. Mine is not here already, but I can tell you are very close to her. I hope for the best for you.

CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT MP. Avier send me lyrics soon k? I wanna see! ~excited~

Just Because
11:30 PM

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Terribly sick...

While in the holding ward, I wonder how it would be if I really had H1N1? Anyways, I feel like utter crap, my whole room is spinning.

MC for 3 days, not a bad trade right? Just in time for the weekend! Only god knows that this is some kind of elaborate plan of making me stay away from camp. THANK YOU. I'm doing a little better than before, but at the same time, with every peace of mind a thunderstorm comes and blow it all away. You see, in my workplace, there is this delicate balance of looking busy and actually being busy. I guess I haven't grasp the concept of it yet.

I haven't done some drawing in a while, cya later~

Just Because
3:43 PM

Friday, June 12, 2009

My friends in camp say I look and behave more stressed than usual. Am I? I don't really feel it, but I do feel more frustrated and agitated now then before, maybe that's just a sign of stress and I just wouldn't acknowledge it. It came to the point where I was sleepwalking twice within a month. That's like scary, I stopped sleepwalking at secondary school, now its happening again? Here's how it went...

I was dreaming about work (probably, coz I can't remember anything) and then I suddenly woke up and went to my mom's room, hugging a pillow and groggily muttering something about, "cannot sleep coz they will be calling". I am really starting to feel the fear of seeing keys and hearing phonerings. It has started to alert my senses more than usual, but not to the point of calling it a phobia.

I hope things get better soon.

Just Because
11:25 PM

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Recently people have been commenting about my short temper. I admit, I tend to overreact over the smallest things when under stress. Mind you, doesn't mean its a desk job means I'm stress-free. But then again, this anger is not directed at anybody, its just me unleashing my frustration, never meant to hurt anyone. I made sure of that. If you get irritated by it, well...all I can say is that you haven't known me enough. And you thought I was going to apologize, heh.

That being said, I will go on to more important matters, like writing songs. This is purely for my own pure noting, you can skip if its tl;dr.

1. Mo Sheng Ren: I think I'm not going to continue this until I repair my broken Shamisen. My poor Shamisen ;_;

2. Tree in Lake (working title): Its more or less structured well already, I'm just a little lazy to finish it.

3. Clown Song: I just created a crazy sick intro WOOT. This sounds promising. Sometimes the best melodies come out of spontaneity.

4. Celtic Song: I'm still researching on the scales and shit, so it might take awhile.

I NEED TO HAVE A SONG NEXT MP.

Just Because
9:52 PM

Sunday, June 07, 2009

From tomorrow onwards, I shall be less whiny. I shall be less angry and I shall complain less. I shall not demand a lot from anyone and shall not insist I do certain stuff. Because apparently SOMEONE thinks its annoying and I should stop it.

You know what? FUCK YOU.

I just cannot stand people saying shit like "You're such a *insert insult here*." Oh sure, like you aren't the 3735737 things that you are. I do implore you to do some in-depth research about yourself and see whether its really a good idea to spout something like that when you are not aware of your own faults. I am indeed okay with people with faults, I mean, faults are what makes us human. What I cannot stand is people who don't recognize their faults and direct their preaching to me to ensure I stay WELL within the social norm.

I know I'm not normal by any screwed up social standard, I have come to terms with it that it is indeed a fact that I am this way. Just like what a certain fat person told me about her experience of someone saying to her; "You don't like people saying you are fat, but isn't it the truth? So what are you so angry about?"

I find that totally true. I used to be so upset at people calling me names, even going to the toilet to cry by myself. It was stupid of me coz deep down inside, I know what they said was true. More and more I have come to terms with it and amusing, people that try to bring me down only resort to this "weakness" of mine. Pssh, like I never heard it before. I could name 10 other things about you that you don't even know about yourself.

WHICH brings me back to my topic. I do implore this fucked up individual to please do some soul-searching and reflect on the reason why we never talked for one year. It reflects really badly on you coz now I'm not the only one that sees you through.

Just Because
11:10 PM