Of this tangled mess of strands that I have made up of my life, let Me pick the path that pleases You.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Wow...four years, not bad for a good friendship. I've seen friendships lasting more than my own age and sometimes I ask myself "How the hell they can stand each other for so long?" That's when I realise to be in a true friendship, no matter how long, you must YOU MUST be open with each other. If the other is being a total bitch, tell her/him off a bit, enough for them to get the message and not too much that it would erupt into a fight. Take Evon Foo for instance, if I dress wrongly or if my hair sucks, she will tell me in the face and I appreciate that. When Im being too bitchy she will punch me (ok a bit overboard here LOL) This, my friends, is an example of what I consider a true friendship. Another one is Charis, I know there are some things that one of us may not like. I like anime but she HATES it. So I try not to mention it in front of her...besides I have a million other things to talk to her about, anime isnt my life, i credit myself for being diverse in that aspect.

It happened around 10pm just now. I was worried and I asked her if she had any money problems. She thought I was irritating and didnt tell me, but 4years being together I know how to sense these kind of things. Then out of the blue, she asks her best friend to tell me off and tell Clara to FUCK OFF. The moment I saw that message I knew there wasnt any repair possible. It was the end of the line. The back of my head just froze. And heated up. And froze again. My window was open and the cold air rushed in. I trembled like nobody's business, our friendship and the way it shattered shook me from the inside. In blind rage, I called Clara and told her everything.

It was subtle, she was in the MRT and it was noisy but I could hear. I could hear everything she was going through. She tried to avoid it when I asked her but I knew. She cried and I did too. We just couldn't understand her. We could a little, but not as good as her best friend. I know Clara's shattered, I am too but Im more blinded by rage than moping in sadness of what could have been. She could have done THAT to me, but to Clara? I knew I had to burn bridges...all that kept us connected.

Was the four years together all a well-scripted play to her? We did enjoy each other's company during the first year but Clara sensed something wrong with the other three years. These three years together was all a fake, soap-opera. We had tormented ourselves to hold back so much we began to lose our true character. I couldn't laugh loudly, I couldn't curse her with any sense of light-heartedness, there was so much I gave in. There was so much that Clara gave in.

In a way, we are happy we are released from this emotional prison and puppeteering, and in a way, we are sad that these 3years......we never really were true friends.

Thank You Nazira for these 4years.
If we do cross paths again, I'll be sure to let you go first.

Just Because
11:14 PM

QUACK

http://kur0s4wa.blogspot.com
opened: 25 July 2007 1:15AM

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RELEVANT SPECIES

Nadzirah Insane
Charis Frank
Maxwell Suited
Evon Life
Gary Love
XiaoQiang Depth
Eileen Passion
Huiting Blunt
Ken Goodwilled
Meihar Fun
Huiyi Tranquil
Xueting Village
Huihui Keen
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Avier Beauty
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