I havent been getting a whole lot of sleep recently. Today I kept myslef awake in school using my inhaler and eyemo, which doesnt happen to often at all. I read another, and probably my last, ultra sappy shoujo manga. [WHAT??!! The story was good and I had sources to download oodles of them] I never felt so tired when I went back, the drowsiness was so intoxicating although I woke up several times during my nap. I still cant believe I wasted my time going to school today.
Everybody has love to give but also has space for love. I dont know why Im saying this, I guess Im in the mood. Sometimes your heart hurts so bad its better to stab yourself. I know it isnt possible, it was reinforced long ago. But sometimes you cant help but hope. Hah, hope. Another baseless word to use. I used to be on the borderline of obligation and hope, I dont know if it has changed, but I want to have opportunities to learn. I have learnt one side of the spectrum for 4years, I wonder when its the time for me to have the chance to learn about the other side. For once, I wanna know and experience how it feels to reject and hurt people. I wanna say: "Hey its not my fault you like me. Bleh." That would feel good >=)
Taking the advice from a friend, I know its not good to rush. I will end up searching for THAT kind of feeling forever and never be satisfied, like what is happening to him now. I dont ever want to delve into something where i thought i was feeling the genuine thing, but end up as the loser. I never wanted to lose but I always ask for it.
Right now I can only show support and wait till the feeling eventually fades away. No more hoping this time.
Just Because 9:15 PM
QUACK
http://kur0s4wa.blogspot.com
opened: 25 July 2007 1:15AM
ASL
Not like you need to know but...
19 on 9/11
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Ponyland
WISHLIST
A totally pointless section.
A band
Anything Yellow
You